when you know something doesnt fit in the fridge but you force the door shut and let it fall out on someone else
in music at school we were learning guitar and i brought in two picks so my friend asked if she could borrow one. naturally i held them both out to her and said “sure, take your pick”
studies show that i am a fucking idiot
what exactly does sending a dick pic achieve??? like Wow thanks for the penis im gonna print this off and shove it up my ass
A GIRL JUST LEFT HER NUMBER ON NIALL’S INSTAGRAM PICTURE GUESS WHO’S BACK IN THE GAME
alright dudebro i went to high school with
i see you posting bible quotes as your facebook status
and i see your profile picture with all your fraternity bros
and i see your steady relationship with your cute blonde girlfriend
i see all these things
but nothing changes the fact that in the seventh grade i caught you jacking off next to me in history class on the day we watched that documentary on nude male sculptures in ancient greece
i get ignored on facebook thats why im here…to also get ignored
and we’ll never be royals
shut up hoe this doesnt look anything like lorde take ya shitty overused jokes elsewhere ive seen someone use this caption like 20 got damn times
let me be your ruler, you can call me queen B
no im not into indie music anymore, got a little too mainstream for me. im into post industrial 1968 japanese funk now
I am the grinch.
'come out and see me'
'i'll buy you food'